the weather is so cold now. and so is my everything.

maybe i should really just grow up but i cant forget. i realise how much this means to me and i dont want to give up just like that. i think i shall just leave it all to time.

you know, i could almost picture us together watching the sun set. my life hasnt lit up a single bit ever since i realised things dint seemed to go the way i thought it should be. i realised i havent been smiling since and even if i do, it just doesnt seem right. why did you have to step into my life? i miss the smiles that used to flood my cheeks. its all gone now and i cant find it back anymore. picturing moments of us together is probably making thing double times worse cause its so unrealistic-y. but everytime i close my eyes, you would appear in my head. i seem to be drifting far apart from the cheerfulness that once invaded my life. but sad to say, its really disappointing to know that even my friend i thought who knew me inside out couldnt even tell that something was troubling me. but its ok, i realise we are already miles apart from each other, so it doesnt makes any much more difference now.

how i wish i could just talk to you. its kind of hard to just walk past you and not talking to you. my world turned an immediate upside down. no one, not even you, will ever change that now. its a little to late for me to turn back now but i just want to keep dying.




"This is a car. This is a colourful car. This is my car." you are my only joy now, shawn. you are probably the only one that can make me smile now. i love you so much. can i silently pray that you'll remain as the innocent primary one that always bring smiles to my face? time just goes on and on doesnt it? SIGH.